Yes? [Can I just ask, in my marriage were my prayers ineffective because I was not actually - even though he wasn't walking in the authority that God's given him, my prayers weren't effective because he was not a christian] Alright, okay, that's a good question, so there's a struggle in a marriage that eventually broke down, and so the question is, were my prayers ineffective? I think that God is the only one who can answer whether prayers are effective or not. I think we tend to look at them all as being effective only in terms of getting what we expect or hope. The reality in relationships, God gives everyone a free will, and if people continually resist God there are devastating consequences that take place, no matter how faithful the Christian or the believer can be. So the Bible says that the unsaved spouse, whether it be husband or wife, is sanctified by the faith of the saved person, so I believe God looks at them, and sees them as being one.
Now how do you then deal with the situation with the unsaved or the back-slidden husband? I believe you stand in their place, since they have failed in spiritual headship, you step up, and without usurping their role, step up in prayer, praying to break those things around them, release the blessing of God. But we have no guarantee what the outcome will be, because the outcome rests on a person's decision, and so all we can do is make the chances of it happening far greater. In other words, by removing some of the spiritual pressure and releasing the atmosphere of God, but people still reject God, so Adam and Eve walked in the most perfect environment, but still made their own choice, which had consequences. God let them make the choice, but made them accountable for the consequences, so in a marriage situation, I believe the first thing is your own heart attitude; secondly is that you stay faithful in prayer, and do the part that you can, but then sometimes marriages break down because someone just is resistant, and they make decisions and choices that lead to destruction.
You're not responsible for those decisions or choices, and if you have prayed faithfully, and stood in the gap and believed God, and done the best you could, then you've done the best you could. You know, you read the men of faith, it said some got great victories, and others died in faith, you know? So we forget the last group. We just want the great heroes stories of seeing it all work out, but there are many people, and they just stood in faith, they didn't see the answer, but they refused to doubt. They held on to the very end, even at the loss of their life, and God calls them men of faith, so I believe if you stay in a place of faith, believing, trusting God and do all that you can, then however the outcome is, at least you can walk away honourably, saying I did all that I could. Yeah and that's how you would feel of course, yeah. Sometimes when you engage in this kind of prayer, issues surface which actually the whole foundations of the marriage become bare. Then the challenge is, will we work to sort this out and build a better relationship, or will we not? So prayer, like I was sharing of opening up the spirit world, can expose stuff that formerly was hidden. People still make their decisions though, and sometimes they make bad decisions, you know?
Yes? [When you have a Christian marriage, and one of the partners is oppressed by the enemy, and no matter how much ministry is offered they resist it and the marriage breaks up, is that affecting their salvation?] I think that's a totally separate issue. A person's salvation rests on the work Christ did, and their trust in it, and it should have an outworking, that their life begins to show it, so true faith actually has some outworking of a walk with God of some kind.
If a person's oppressed, it means a part of their life is under the control of the enemy, which is usually in this case the soul, so the mind and emotions, and what you don't know is, what trauma the person has gone through, that gave access to the spirits into their life. [I know the trauma, but they would not bow to any ministry. They were...] I understand that. [...it meant that they were burdened, but they were convinced there was nothing wrong.] Of course and that happens, so I think the issue of a person's salvation lies ultimately in the hands of God, and God alone. I don't think we could ever know where people stand, and just because a person refuses to acknowledge a problem, and won't receive ministry, I don't think that means they're not saved. I think it just means they're refusing to acknowledge a problem, and there are many reasons people refuse to acknowledge a problem.
Some, they actually intuitively know that to acknowledge it, I'm going to have to go through some terribly painful stuff to deal with it, I'd rather not acknowledge it. Some people have actually built - it's almost like they dissociate inside, and put the pain in a box, and carry on just like nothing has ever happened. But the pain is still there, and they don't want to go there because of the pain, what it would mean to them. In such a situation, when a person stays in that kind of denial, you can't do anything until they come out of the denial, so sometimes - my experience with working with people has led me to conclude that even if you can see what's wrong, until they recognise a need, they don't make a change. So the first aspects of prayer is that God would awaken their heart to see their need.