Each of the men of God that I had relationship with, or connected with, or was under their ministry - at one point in time I opened up my heart to receive their input, correction, adjustment; because it's much easier for someone outside you to see what's going on with you, than it is for you to see it.
That's why it's good to welcome your spouse to give input and correction, because they can see stuff - they live with you. So that's a principle of being open to correction; open to learn about where we're immature, and lack; where our behaviour affects people negatively.
3) Guard and protect the relationship. You need to guard relationships. Relationships are very fragile. They're not static - they change, and they can break down. When they break down there's a huge grief comes with that; so we need to guard and protect our relationships.
Solomon 2:15 – “Catch the little foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vine”.
“Little foxes” are offences. You can get offended with someone, and then shut your heart down. A ‘brother offended’ has got walls in the heart.
Sometimes the people over me made decisions I didn't understand; but I had to learn that whether I understood or not, was irrelevant. All I had to do was just guard my heart attitude; not be offended, or make assumptions or judgements.
Sometimes people who lead you make decisions that you don't have the full information on - and they can't share it either. That's why they're in leadership - they have to make decisions. So guard your heart from making assumptions or judgements. That keeps your relationship open, enables you to receive.
4) A fourth thing I've found, that I did in practice all the time, was: ask questions.
Proverbs 20:5 – “Counsel in the heart of a man is like deep water, and a man of understanding will draw it out”.
People have more in them that you realise, but you've got to draw it out - by asking questions. The disciples did that. Every time Jesus ministered, He would gather with them privately, and they would ask Him questions - they drew stuff out of Him.
I don't know all that I've learnt. If I had to sit down and try and explain what I learnt about this or that, I'd have to rack my brains to try and think.
But I've found that when someone is in a heart attitude, or relationship, of respect and value, they start to enquire - there's an anointing flows, and all the things I've learnt, which are part of my life, start to flow out like a river.
I have found that as you respect and honour what God has put in someone’s life, you can draw on them; and as you start to ask questions, suddenly there's flow of anointing, and all manner of things come out - exactly what you need for where you are. God put them in there for that purpose, and you're now connected, and you're doing the thing that God wants you to do - just what the disciples did to Jesus: asked questions.
It's crazy in church when people don't ask questions. It's even worse if people react when a question is asked, or get evasive and angry and defensive, and shut you down, because questions are the way we learn.
The Hebrew way of learning was by asking questions - that's how you learn. I remember with Ross, I could not get over how he could communicate with people in all different age groups, from teenagers right through to adults, every kind of group. He seemed to be able to get right into their heart, and I'm a teacher at a high school (at the time) - I wanted to learn how to do that.
I used to stand and watch him while he was interacting with people, and afterwards I'd say: why did you do this? Why did you do that? How come you did this? How come you did that? I wanted to learn. I'd just ask questions, and that's how I learnt.
If you don't ask questions then you're missing the opportunity for a unique flow that can come to you out of a person.
Remember, it says that wisdom lies in the heart of a man like a well, but a person of understanding will dip in and draw it out - and you draw it out by honour and value and respect, and by asking questions. You have to ask questions.